One mom was horrified to learn that her daughter was giving out personal information to men on the Internet. Sometimes we even put our kids at risk as they’re growing up, by letting them have privileges too early. Is my child ready for this responsibility? If my son isn’t mature enough to avoid using a cell phone during class, then I’m doing him a disservice by giving him one.But, parents sometimes need to realize that when kids see their classmates developing physically, they don’t want to be the only one in school who’s “still a baby.” A mom may balk at letting a daughter get a bra before she has the figure to fit it. Sometimes we have to evaluate whether an item is a frivolous accessory or something that’s important to a child’s self-image as they are growing up. But since Lindsey just wanted a phone to impress her peers, her mom decided that Lindsey could have one when she was old enough to get a job and earn the money to pay for it. On the other hand, Lindsey started asking for a cell phone in junior high. For Taylor and her mom, the phone is a matter of security. She uses it to call her mom at work while she stands at the bus stop alone every morning. What is the reason for letting my child have or do this? For instance, 8-year-old Taylor has a cell phone.But as you think about stages for your kids, ask yourself these questions: Questions to considerĪs they are growing up, there are no set rules for determining the ages when kids should be allowed to have or do certain things. These can include massive debt, destroyed relationships and wounded emotions. Go for it!” But, seeking instant gratification often leads to long-term problems. Our society says, “Have everything you want now! Don’t wait. This approach also teaches our children that it’s OK to wait for something. We help them see that maturity is a process, not something that automatically happens when they turn 18. In setting up stages and boundaries, we give our children something to look forward to as they are growing up. By delaying these activities until an appropriate age, we use them as rites of passage that mark a healthy progress toward adulthood. This can include wearing makeup, enjoying Internet use, having a cell phone and getting a job. Why wait?Ĭreating appropriate stages means putting age limitations on behaviors that rush our kids out of childhood. We can do this by creating appropriate stages and boundaries. Just as we limit sweets in our children’s diets, we also need to set healthy limits in other areas so that our children aren’t growing up too fast. It can even lead them to a hunger for risky, harmful ones. In the long run, it hurts their health and hinders their appetite for wholesome things. But lavishing them with too many good things is like letting children gorge on candy. We want our kids to have good things in life. I went back to work to make sure she had all the advantages.” Setting healthy limits “We raised her in a strong Christian home. “I don’t understand how this could happen,” her mom, Dawn, said. “After all,” she reasoned, “we’re already married in God’s eyes.” And to compound their shock, Chelsea’s school expelled her for drug possession. Compounding the shockĪ few months later, Chelsea dropped a bomb on her parents. As she continued growing up into a young teen, she made regular salon visits and had an artificial tan that made her look much older than she was.īy the time Chelsea was 14, a new car sat in the driveway, just waiting for her to get a driving permit.īy 15, Chelsea pretty much had it all and was bored. She also had her own bedroom complete with a TV and a computer with Internet access. Before she was a teenager, Chelsea* had a cell phone.
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